“Family” today doesn’t mean what it used to mean

In my lifetime I gave birth to five children, they’re all grown now. My mother always told me I would cry many a tear over them, now I believe what she said is very true. I”ve had an extremely hard life, harder than most people.I didn’t raise my two oldest daughters, although I loved them and missed them from the bottom of my heart. I always had a feeling I would someday be reunited with my daughters, the reunion was not exactly what I had envisioned. Life happened to me some more and I’m estranged from them once again. My other three children grew up fast, but we were mostly all together. I have a son, who didn’t exactly care for growing up around “girls” too much so he got his education and raising away from home, leaving my two youngest daughters without big brother. I really did the best I could for them, my husband and I worked
opposing shifts, me first, he second, we even swapped me second, he first. Someone was always home with the children. We were even happy for awhile. Until, my mother passed away suddenly, Labor Day 1999. We had been down visiting family that summer and were making plans to move back home, thinking we would still be happy around our families. NOT!!!! As a matter of fact I am totally Unhappy at this time because all my children are Unhappy and being vicious to one another. Using Facebook for their bickering and fighting. Oh my God! You don’t use Facebook for airing out that kind of “stuff”. Nobody wants to read that. Who knows, maybe they do, but I don’t think it’s the proper place.

This is not fair!!!

Nearly four years ago I lost my home and all my personal property because I tried helping some so called friends with providing myself and my truck for a couple of remodeling jobs. My “friend” was talking big money and paying me back when the jobs were finished; so instead of paying my bills as I always had, I spent the money on gas in the truck and  incidentals, like food and drink for myself, my friends who were totally dependent on me at the time. Of course, with my luck which has been bad all my life, months went by and when it came time to get paid, guess who didn’t get what she was promised? Yep, good old Terri. I ended up homeless, staying with other friends, and in shelters that I had to pay 15 dollars a night. I was unable to go and get my property from my home, the “landlords” would not allow me back in the place. In the meantime, someone got ahold of my personal identity paperwork and proceeded to file tax returns under my credentials, three years in a row. I would have never known if Internal Revenue Service did not put a tax levy on my Disability check from Social Security. They’re taking money out of my disability check to pay for something I had nothing to do with. Go figure that one  out! My God! I’m having it hard enough just existing on 672. a month now they have to take money right off the top before I even see my check. Only in America! I guess that’s what I get for trying to help, being nice to my “friends”

I can’t give up, I don’t like the word fail. I’ve done too much of that in my lifetime. I have been studying constantly everything I can get my hands and eyes on, for two months, knowing I need classroom training, which is the best way for me to learn anything. I guess my writing style is free for all; I have a lot of memories in my head, just waiting to be let out.

My youngest daughter, Amanda

She’s all that’s on my mind lately; I feel as if her father and I have failed her miserably when in actuality she helped us to fail her. We started here in Tampa, Florida when she was born, another year later we were all living in beautiful Connecticut. She was a normal child, a little high strung, nevertheless her father and I had to work, alternating shift work with household duties and care of our family. We were in  our prime, her father and me. We had great jobs working with wonderful people, kind of like heaven on earth. We have one son, David; since my husband Kenny was a step dad to all my children but Amanda, David, who was only eleven years old and my husband didn’t really get along as good as I would have liked, which eventually would become “old” real fast.